No – YOU’RE a Doodie Head!


Limegirl was the first blogger I knew of. She introduced me to Heather B. Armstrong -AKA, Dooce – many years ago. Limegirl thought it humorous that Dooce rejected the Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) label in favour of Shit Ass Hoe Motherfucker and knew I would also appreciate that humour. I read Dooce’s blog when I could. When I started blogging last spring, I found there were about a bajillion “mommy blogs” out there. I found a handful of blogs who all seemed to know each other & were all linked on Twitter – these women were cool & I was the new kid. I began to devour their blogs. The writing was so witty, so funny, so who I wanted to be. I soon realized that what I was reading was directly affecting my writing. It was difficult to choose a blog topic without sounding like I was ripping off fellow bloggers. So I stopped reading blogs (well, not totally, but close). I’ve kept up with Barefoot Foodie because her blog partly inspired me to start my own. I “unfollowed” these ladies on Twitter because every time they said something funny or posted a blog link, I couldn’t resist checking it out. Let me make this clear – I did this because I wanted to blog with integrity, not because I didn’t like them or thought they weren’t fantastic. This is also the reason why I no longer take part in Girl Talk Thursday (which I contributed to maybe twice ’cause I was so intimidated), I need to find my own voice which means I should sink or swim on my own merit. I might lose some readers after this post, but that’s only 7 people and my BFF anyway. I have 95 followers on Twitter – I’ll guestimate 83 of them are spam, 11 will be hitting “unfollow” shortly and Alec will be my only follower. That’s okay.

There are billions of people who don’t read my blog. It’s true.


Dooce posted several tweets last week regarding the suckiness of Maytag, here’s her follow up post. Some folks were pissed because she has over a million followers who now may not buy a Maytag appliance (gasp). She’s “abusing her power”. Seriously? People called her a bully (because apparently we’re seven). In the grand scheme of things, do I give a rats ass if Dooce gets a free washer because of her rants? Not in the least. If some big ass company wants to throw a washer her way (which, thanks to Mommy Melee’s suggestion, will be donated), good for her. Here’s the thing – she wasn’t asking for a free washer. She just wanted the one week old washer they purchased to fucking wash.

Where Do I Weigh In? 

I remember seeing one of Dooce’s tweets and thinking “huh, that’s weird” and dismissed it, figuring she was just venting. Twitter is a powerful tool, however, we all have weaknesses & just because someone said something negative about Maytag, did not make me run to my white board and write “Do NOT buy Maytag” as a reminder. I also did not think Dooce was a bully for taking her fight to Twitter.

Just because I used the word “motherfucker” once twice in this post doesn’t mean I think you’re now going to be dropping it in your general conversation. Just because some teen aged girl has seen Britney Spears’ vagina on more than one occasion, will not make that girl a slut (and if she is, it’s because her folks put her in a two piece bikini at 2 years old, bought her skank belly shirts when she was 6, and neglected to have an open conversation about sex with her when she was 10 – don’t put all the blame on Britney’s vagina. That’s really another conversation).

Little Jude is one month older than Dooce’s daughter, the smell of sour milk is all too familiar, I can’t imaging being without a washer for weeks. If my brand new washer stopped working, I’d be yelling down every single avenue until it was working. Anyone who knows me would tell you that I’d be pissed if my Oral-B toothbrush stopped working, so yeah, if our brand new washer died, I’d be out for blood.

Perhaps Maytag will re-evaluate their customer service policies? Not likely, but one can hope. If I got the “uggh” response from the customer service rep, I would’ve tried to reach through the phone, find the nearest piercing and twist until I got my desired answer. I was a HelpDesk Analyst before I became a Shit Ass Hoe Motherfucker (oops, three times), and if I ever gave a client a response of “uggh”, my boss would’ve eaten my liver for lunch, danced on my pink slip & introduced me to the phrase “fries with that?”. That’s just shitty customer service. Quite honestly, after reading Dooce’s story, I give her props for not going to Twitter sooner. In my opinion, she showed Maytag the same respect they showed her. Perhaps that division in Utah will think twice about treating customers like they’re expendable.

Now, after all of that, will I buy a Maytag appliance? Maybe. See, I’m not just a pretty face, I actually have opinions and beliefs of my own and if after I did the research Maytag was the best choice, then Maytag it would be. And if Dooce is this evil bully person who did just want free shit and decided to use her million person following to get a free washer, fine. You know what? Life isn’t fair. I choose to wear big girl panties and understand that for some people life tends to be easier – if you’re short sighted. Perhaps that person getting a “free ride” has had a shitty life, perhaps other areas of their lives are lacking in areas which I am blessed. Or maybe they’re just douchebags – that’s just life. Accept & carry on.

Blogs are like assholes…everybody has one. Wait. I think I got that wrong.



Oh yeah…motherfucker. FOUR!!! Now go use it when you’re confessing to your priest ’cause I know I have that kind of power.


7 thoughts on “No – YOU’RE a Doodie Head!

  1. I’m still a follower! Oh, and I won’t let my 2 yr old daughter wear a bikini either. Just call me an old fashioned prude (or someone with a little common sense.)

  2. I second the bikini comment. There are some outfits out there for three year olds I wouldn’t let a twelve year old wear… if that makes me a prude, then so be it.

    Re: Dooce’s maytag battle…. people need to get over it. Last time I checked, the point of blogging was to share our everyday lives, stresses, victories, etc. Sometimes, things happen that *gasp* involve companies or people others have heard of. Since when is a mother complaining about bad customer service on her (what is essentially a) journal abusing her power? I would like to think that she would give her readers a little more credit than to beleive that they were a vaccous robot pawns in a personal vendetta against Maytag… sorry, but if someone treats me poorly, whether it’s the Maytag people or my neighbor down the street, or my husband being a jerk that day, I’m going to vent to get it off my chest. People take things way too seriously.

    And I’ll keep following you. I love your writing, just the way it is.

  3. Also NOT clicking unfollow! You have a unique voice, which I love and will continue to read. Keep it coming. I’ll send Emmy MY bikini. I clearly should not be wearing it, and it can be sewn into a one-piece that will fit her at this point. 🙂

  4. Try not to let yourself be intimidated. You have a unique voice – that’s what makes a stand out blog. It’s easy to feel you’re not “good enough” but all those writers you admire? They have insecurities too. Or maybe that’s just me.

    Keep writing and they will come.

  5. Hi,

    ‘Found’ you from the link you posted in Dooce’s comments. I went back through your archives, and enjoyed your posts. And my son’s name is Alec so that got my attention too lol.

    Will be adding you to my ‘follow’ list and will be back!

  6. Oh thank god, I’m not the only one! The first time I saw a toddler in a bikini, it gave me the heebies. I’m no prude, but that just feels wrong.

    Also, ❤ u. Your rage and prolific use of motherfucker will always warm my heart. It may take a while, but eventually you'll care less and less about what people think about what you write. I've spent 9 years disappointing people in regular cycles, and continually come back to the fact that the only reason my site exists is because it amuses me. Limeworld is just a bit of graffiti scrawled in a bathroom stall, on the off chance that someone else finds the same shit interesting.

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