Nope, not Michael Buble.
I should have known to turn to George! What was I thinking?
Today is going better. Granted, it’s just gone 11am, but that’s okay. So far, to soothe Jude, Emmy has flashed him (that’s my girl) and she’s now watching Hairspray (that’s my girl – any movie with this line “some of your personal stains require pounding with a rock” hits my top 5), dancing her buns off and giving me my Zac Efron fix. I’m drinking warmish coffee and getting a post done.
I don’t usually freak out – and although Alec assures me that the house isn’t that bad, I feel it is. So, I have come up with a plan. Garbage bags.
I can’t stay on top of laundry which tells me we have too many clothes. Time to thin them out and head to Goodwill.
Sort the clutter on top of the fridge, under the sinks and in the laundry room – with garbage bags. Clutter must die.
Sort the clutter in the pantry & put it out for the Food Drive on Saturday.
I think the pain radiating from my scalp is because my hair is too heavy….or I have a very confused STD. Along with my ass, everything else about me has gotten bigger. Attitude, responsiblity and hair. If you put a Debra Messing wig on a fat hairless cat, that’s basically me. What I lack in body hair, I make up for on my head (yes, that means I don’t shave my legs – well, only if I’m really bored. I do shave the pits but only because if I don’t, it looks like I have a retarded Chia-Pet in a head lock). Anyway, so my hair is big, curly and long (past shoulder blades). It looks fabulous the 2 or 3 times a month that I don’t have in a Mom-tail, but I think it’s time to bid adieu to the giant hair. I have trepidation about this because I so cannot do short hair, but I want something manageable and cute. If I do straight short, I look like I’ve had a KD Lang boot camp makeover and if I do curly and short, I look like a psychotic Ronald MacDonald. The only upside to short hair is that it will really piss off Statler who will need reassurance that I haven’t turned lesbian…oh how I wish I could pull off Ellen DeGeneres hair. I saw the end of Dancing With The Stars last night and loved Kelly Osbourne’s hair,we both have the chubby cheeks, but I think that ‘do would require maintenance. Alec will be sad to see the hair gone, but I can’t tell you the last time he pulled it during sex so I’m gonna chalk it up to one of those “use it or lose it” scenarios. I need some feedback before I book my girl Lisa for a cut…