True North Strong & Divided

This is my Canada – go Shane!

Also, KD Lang rocked it.

The Olympics. They’re fantastic – and I loathe sports. Seriously, I faked every illness to get out of gym class – I’m pretty sure I had a heart murmur at some point – or maybe that was to get out of a job. Anyway, I find sports loud & distracting. I can’t watch sports & only attend hockey games for the beer & pretzels – which aren’t that great, well the pretzels aren’t that great…

We watched all of the opening ceremonies of the 2010 Olympic Games in Vancouver. Why? Because they’re being held in Canada & I am so proud of that. Even Emmy watched & for a 3 year old, she did well. She did wonder if any of the guys were going to turn into Uniqua from The Backyardigans, but she is 3.

I thought the ceremonies were great. But guess what? All of the announcements and speeches were given in French then English.


We did notice, then continued to enjoy the ceremony & live our lives. It did not occur to me to take it to message boards, forums or Facebook to bitch and bemoan the fact that the French language was first. Apparently I am the minority. I cannot believe the backlash this decision has created and to all of those people who took offense, I say shame on you. Shame on you for broadcasting to the world that the language spoken takes precedence over our unity. Shame on you for removing the spotlight from our fantastic athletes & focusing on an uncomfortable sore spot in our heritage.

If the games were held in Quebec, no one would have batted an eye. But because the games are being held in what’s thought to be an Anglophone city, everyone should be up in arms over the fact that French was spoken first – and English followed.

Let’s see. Maybe before we crucify anyone over this, perhaps we should look into Olympic history? French and English are the official languages of the International Olympic Committee. Why? Well, the games had been going on for 1200 years – then in 393 CE, the Roman emperor Theodosius I, a Christian, abolished the Games because of their pagan influences. No more Olympics. About 1500 years went by & a Frenchman, Pierre de Coubertin, began petitioning for a reinstatement of the Olympics in 1892. Few more years go by and voila, the Games as we know them were born. Because of a dude in France. Hence, why French is an official language of the Games. The decision as far as languages go is – French OR English followed by the official language of the host country. Think about that for a second. They did it correctly? Hell yeah, like Canada would fuck that up – we’re better than that. Come on and get over yourselves and realize that it’s so much more than what fucking language is spoken.

I’m sorry I have just obliterated the notion that there’s a bunch of suits sitting in a dark office somewhere twisting their mustaches, trying to come up with ways to piss off Western Canada – those guys are out enjoying the Games!

I also heard people bitching about the Native celebrations being too much of a focus. Holy crap. Really? It’s like I fell asleep and woke up in a totally racist anti tolerant nightmare. Perhaps living in the Lone Star Province is catching up with me.

What would have been a good alternative? A duet by Steven Page & Chad Kroeger about hockey atop a giant mural of Canada made entirely out of Pierogi? Fuuuuck people, quit losing sight of the big picture. Heaven forbid we ever celebrate any kind of culture.

And every time I think about the fact that a Francophone – Alexandre Bilodeau, won the first gold on Canadian soil, I giggle my fucking head off. La façon pour aller Alex!

And no, I don’t speak French.

And yes, this is probably the post with the most fuck words.



3 thoughts on “True North Strong & Divided

  1. Yes! Finally someone has said it. Thank God! No wonder so many Francophones are super touchy about language and Anglo-Canada – sometimes Anglophones act like DOUCHEBAGS. It makes me want to start speaking and writing only in French, JUST to piss people off. (In case anyone is wondering, English is my first language, followed by shoddy high school French as my second. So I’m neither Francophone/Quebecois nor bilingual.)

    f I were a lesbian, I would marry you.

  2. Um, you ever start writing a comment on your iPod, then decide to be earnest instead of just funny, and then forget to erase the first sentence, making your entire comment sound completely fucked?

    Yeah, me neither.

  3. Well said my friend. Tis so sad indeed that we have to be petty about language and the fact that oh I don’t know that the First Nations people were here first and are a huge part of Canada’s history. Funny that people complain about that and not about the new arrangement of “Oh Canada”.

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