Be Nice On The Playground!

Sorry for the hiatus folks, life had gotten hold of me & wouldn’t let me blog. But I am back!

What was I doing? Saving the world. Pretty much kickin’ ass. Okay, not really. I was co-chairing a fundraising event for a women’s shelter in my province. With our volunteers and sponsors, we raised a honk butt of money for our cause – we far exceeded our expectations. It was awesome, fulfilling and we had the greatest ladies who volunteered their time and talents that helped make the day a huge success…can’t wait for next year – bigger & better my loves. Also because my co-chair & I spent so much time away from home planning the event & during the last month – had phones pretty much surgically attached to our lobes – I have to applaud our husbands – ’cause we’re hard to keep up with without the event planning! It should at least gain a free pass on blow jobs for the next year.

So, onto other meanderings which fall out of my head on a regular basis…

I’m not yet 33 but I have turned into that old lady. You know the one – who yells at what appears to be random people. Well, I’m finding that it probably isn’t that random. Yes, I’ve turned into a granny – to match my panties.

We took Emmy to the zoo a couple of weeks ago to make up for all of the absentee parenting I had taken apart of due to the aforementioned fundraiser. While walking through the African habitat, some dumb ass kid who hadn’t washed his hair this millennium, started complaining. “Ugh, why do people walk so slow? It’s so annoying….Ugh, hurry up”. I bit my tongue but when it continued, I just had to turn around. All I said was “She’s 3! She has little legs!”. He was somewhat horrified. Which begs the question…do dimwitted teenagers think that after you turn 30 that your hearing automatically vanquishes? I don’t get it.

This was on the heels of my run in with a 60 year old jerkwad in the grocery store parking lot. I pulled into a parking spot & no one was ahead of me – so I pulled through. I put the car in park, put my hand on the keys to turn the car off & some douchebag drove by (hadn’t even come to a rolling stop, so couldn’t have been there long), made eye contact with me and mouthed “fucking bitch”. Really? Over a parking spot. I sat at the wheel for a moment with my mouth open over the fact someone would be that mean. So, I got out & waited at the front of my car. I didn’t have to wait long – he parked 2 spots away from me. That’s right – there were spots everywhere, it was a Sunday night! So, there was my car, white trunk, douchbag’s car. He had to walk an extra 5 feet? He came around and saw me and immediately began “texting”. Sure. I said “Would you like to call me that to my face?”. He looked taken aback & said “Ugh, you took my parking spot”. I replied with “You should be shamed for being so hateful over a parking spot. I am someone’s daughter, wife and mother.” And I walked away. He gave me a wide birth into the store.

My question is, why are people so hateful for really no reason? Is it that hard to be tolerant and kind? I think back to learning at the feet of my grandparents & what their lives were like. Regardless of what a woman did, Grandpa would never, ever call a woman a fucking bitch. Come to think of it, I’m pretty sure he didn’t know those words. And Grandma would chastise anyone for complaining that someone younger or weaker was walking slower than you. When did everything shift? I mean, did the dimwitted teenager have an urgent appointment with the gorilla habitat that he was late for, which is why he would be mean to Emmy? Did the parking lot fuckwit just have a bad day and the only response to losing a parking spot is to verbally attack its inhabitant?

Regardless, this is the world’s warning that I’m not your doormat. I used to be the person who didn’t say anything in the moment and then have long drawn out conversations with myself in the bathroom mirror while re-enacting the scenario. I am a mom of 2 little ones and I’m running a business on the side – I don’t have time for that kind of mental dysfunction, so I have to deal with it in the moment. If you behave like an irrational, hysterical crazy person who targets myself, family or friends, I will retaliate accordingly. Unfortunately, there will always be bullies. Be it in a parking lot, school or facebook. So beware bullies, we’re not taking it anymore. If you can’t love everyone, we will lovingly put our foot up your asses for a change.

While wearing granny panties.


2 thoughts on “Be Nice On The Playground!

  1. Could you PLEASE teach me to be so bold! I have such a hard time standing up for myself, especially in the heat of the moment! My brain just freezes and my tongue loses all function; I become a scared little girl and a pushover. It’s only a few hours later that I think of all the smart and witty things that I COULD have said. Sure hope my girls grow up to be stronger than me!

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