Okay, okay. Here’s is my Jesse James post. I like Sandra – like most of the free world. She seems like a cool gal to have a beer with. I like Jesse James (it’s my Fred Durst Syndrome acting up). I was hoping they’d make it.
Jesse James has entered rehab. Like Duchovny & Tiger before him, Jesse James is trying to save his marriage, career and image by checking into rehab for sexual addiction. I find this baffling. I ‘spose it worked for Duchovny, he’s still married – or they’ve reached an agreement. Tiger is totally fucked and I’m pretty sure old ladies are going to bop Jesse over the head with their handbags every time they spot him.
What I’m curious about is how they think sex rehab will help? These guys are average looking, RICH celebrities. Sexual addiction? Really? Is there a rehab program for money & opportunity? Sorry, I love Duchovny and was pulling for Jesse, but I’ll believe they suffer from sexual addiction when they’re caught banging a woman who looks like Janet Reno.
I’m also curious what their wives think? So 30 days of rehab & rubbing ’em out in the shower is going to cure them from poking whores whose tits are bigger than my salad bowls? Screw rehab, they should just remove access to their bank accounts. Done. Perhaps not the most healthy solution, but come on, was it before?
It’s times like this that I think “What Would Sinatra Do?”. Would he have checked into rehab? Nope. There’s some cred there that going to be lost for these guys. Seriously. Sinatra wouldn’t have gotten caught. And if he did, he would’ve been like, “Woman, you knew what you were getting into”. He would have slapped these guys for getting caught and slapped them again for wasting their woman’s time with the promises post rehab – no one believes it. But since Sinatra is no longer with us, perhaps these schmoes should take a page out of Shaggy’s book.