What Might Make Me a Hoarder

I love infomercials. Truly. Madly. Deeply. I also kind of had a crush on Ron-but-wait-there’s-more-Popeil.

When I was about 16, all of the kids my age wanted Doc Martens. Me? I wanted the Ronco Food Dehydrator. Because really, why wouldn’t a 16 year old want to smell like turkey jerkey? Alas, my love for the machine has gone unrequited. I never got it. Statler & Waldorf thought it would be a waste of money – but clearly, the Thigh Master has paid for itself ten fold. Waldorf still uses it. I couldn’t bring myself to spend my $4.50/hour movie theatre money on an appliance – I was eccentric enough. Almost 17 years later & I still want to make homemade fruit roll-ups.

Although the Food Dehydrator is the one that got away, I haven’t been lacking in infomercial product. I bought the Checkerboard Cake pan at some Seen on TV store. I made it once. It was okay. Once I got married, it became harder to purchase these items – convincing Alec to buy something off the TV was like telling Judge Judy to lay off the caffeine. Until the Ronco Knife Set. I believe I woke him up early one weekend morning and forced him to watch the infomercial with me. By the end he was whipping out our credit card and ready to rock. That was about 7 years ago – and my ass is chapped that now the set is $39…AND you get TWO FREAKIN’ SETS! However, they were worth every penny. We’re still using them & they’re labelled to correspond with the label on the knife block which satisfies my OCD tendencies. Then there was the Buxton Bag. Yeah. I’m siding with Alec on that one now. It was $40 when I bought it, but when factored in tax and shipping, it came to about $65. It’s a great bag, but imagine my disenchantment when I found the same bag at a local store for a meager $20.

Anyway. Last night I stayed up WAY too late watching an infomercial. It was for the Carol Burnett Collector’s Edition DVD. I did not grab the phone. I resisted. BUT, I watched the show that had great clips and I got thinking. There is no family TV on anymore! I can’t let the kids watch TV, it’s all crap. Variety shows like Carol’s, Sonny & Cher, Flip Wilson, Andy Williams, The Muppet Show were all what I grew up on. Fridays were big in our house. It meant we got to take treats in our lunch & watch something cool on TV that night, eat popcorn and stay up late. We loved the Dolly Parton show. We also watched shows like Simon & Simon, CHiPs & Hart to Hart. Those were great family nights in.

The next time that offer is on – I’m totally getting it.


One thought on “What Might Make Me a Hoarder

    I looooved her. She’s the only reason that I kinda sorta like my name.

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