I am the wife of the most patient man I’ve ever met, named Alec. We met in 2000, thanks to a now defunct online service. It took a while for us to get our shit together, so we didn’t start dating until 2001. We were married Christmas of 2003.
I am a Mommy to two wonderful mungacakes (I think that term is derogatory, but when I use it, it’s all about the love). Emmy was born in September 2006 and Jude was born in April 2009. They keep me hopping, but I’m saving the world one bottle at a time.
I swear – sometimes a lot. I don’t, however, blaspheme. God might get mad at me – seriously, He’s one dude who’s known for messing people up if they piss Him off. But if you don’t like all American (or in this case, Canadian) fuck word swearing, you should probably move on.
You may not like or agree with some things I write about. It’s actually highly likely that you’ll want to punch me in the face at various points. Luckily, blogs only require opinions, please do not substitute your opinions or beliefs for what you read here – because quite honestly, I might be jerking your chain anyway.
You may be exposed to nauseating jubilant posts regarding my life as a mom (ie – potty training, recipes and family moments).
You may be exposed to frustrating rants posts regarding my life as a mom (ie – baby puke, stretch marks and whale mating sex).
Should you choose to continue delving into the nether regions of my brain via my blog, you can never, ever tell my parents (whom I refer to as Statler & Waldorf) about what you read.
I am serious as shit about this.
Seen as Statler & Waldorf are in their seventies and have not yet mastered their VCR, I know there is a zero percent chance of them stumbling here on their own. So, if you are one of their minions, followers, friends, please surf elsewhere, there’s nothing for you here.
If you snitch, I’ll probably get stabby.
If you are still reading, consider yourself warned & *enjoy.
* Entertainment is not guaranteed.